Little Joys

Cooking something well, watching kids play, Reading a novel while curled up in bed with a cup of chai next to you on a cold winter day, staring out of a little window while it rains, trying to catch a glimpse of the outside through the corners, or going on a long drive with friends with no ideas or schedule. These are some of the little joys in life.
We live a long life, but its the smaller things that make it worth living.
In a mundane existence, I had forgotten to live. Forgotten to enjoy the little things. Fogged by the lack of meaning and interest in what I was doing. Wanting and thinking only of getting out.

But as the day come closer, it seems more real. I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing, but what I want to do, and even though it seems like I might be derailing my life, I am living it. It may be that I am not doing what is in my best interest for the future. I have always done that. Putting what I want aside and doing that which will give me a "Brighter" future. But now that I am here, I really wish I had not put away so many things. Chasing after a dream, I had forgotten to live. When I look back, I cant remember the last time I was happy. Truly happy. I did sometimes enjoy myself, MYsore was the best months of my life. But if I think of anything before or after, I draw a blank. Only thing I can remember is what I gave up to get something I thought I will need.
No more.
I plan to have joy. She will be my mistress. My affair with her shall not be hidden. Others may look at me with contempt, but I shall not care. Others may give me unsolicited advice, but I shall not care. I may not be doing whats in my "best interest" but I shall be doing something intresting. Something that will be worth doing. It may be the biggest mistake of my life, but I shall look back and think, TOTALLY WORTH IT!
I promise to think less. I have been listening to so much music off late that thinking has taken a back seat. I wont listen to just any crap. I shall try to leach life out of it.
I got mugged sometime back. If I meet those guys again, I will thank them. By taking my phone from me, they forced me to buy this one. It has walkman, which means I can listen to music all day long. Now I have to get is a huge memory card and fill it with music that has life in it.
There is no real end to this little piece, its just random words.
Words of joy, a little bit of my life. Decisions, thoughts and events that have been moulding me, affecting me and changing me. The effects will be seen in the future, but I am not worried nor to I care.
I have decided to find the little joys in life :)